This last month has been the worst of my entire life. The loss of my dad has hit me with a pretty painful dose of reality. We get so distracted with our jobs, our finances, and our petty arguments and offenses, but when you are faced with death, none of those things matter anymore. Family matters. Time matters. Forgiveness matters.

My husband and I will both admit that our marriage has been hard. We have walked through the valley of the shadow of death… the death of our marriage… and yet almost 5 years later, here we are. Still together. Still praying. Still fighting for us.

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:28‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Even in the face of death, God brings life.

And so, through sickness and death, my perception has changed. What I SEE has changed.

Can I tell you, it is no easy task to parent two toddlers. It is stressful to provide for a family financially on your own. It is exhausting to take care of a home, laundry, cooking and cleaning all by yourself. But somehow, without a single complaint, my husband did it all. In the midst of his already-overwhelming role with his new business, he worked overtime to make sure I had NOTHING to worry about and could spend as much time as I wanted and needed with my dad.

I spent days and nights at the hospital, and in the end, three full days at my dad’s house. And in the brief moments that I saw him (my husband), he showered me with affection, prayed over me, gave me words of encouragement and let me fall apart in his arms… sharing his own heartache and healing from losing his father so many years ago.

Never in our marriage have I gotten to experience this man of mine in such a selfless, patient, loving and compassionate way. This precious shift in my marriage has done nothing less than heal my heart, give me courage and find rest and a safe place to land when I’m in trouble.

So today I thank God for my husband who has shown me so much grace, so much mercy, so much understanding and so much love these past few weeks.

Babe, I now know what a treasure I have in you. Your selfless, sacrificial love has helped me through my worst days, and I have fallen more in love with you than ever before. Thank you for being my rock. My sanctuary. My healing place.

Dad would be so proud of you.

I love you ❤️