Why is it that we worry so much about the things that don’t matter? We live in such a death-denying society that is ill-equipped when it happens, often living as though it were never our fate. Somewhere in our childhood we begin to believe we are invincible and can somehow elude death if we just don’t think about it. Maybe if we set our goals high, accomplish great things, get consumed with love, become so busy and successful that we don’t have time to think of anything else… maybe… just maybe… death will never come.

Meanwhile there are others who are faced with death everyday; living through unexpected tragedies with the ones they love, or learning that their own life has a set expiration that is unavoidable and undeniable.

You know, it’s quite interesting. If you were to ask anyone the question, “What would you do if you knew you were going to die in a year?” I would bet  that almost every person would answer the same way. They would be better, nicer people, spend more time with their families, do the things they’ve always wanted to do, cherish every second they have and not waste one moment. I’m pretty sure not many people would say, “Well, I would probably do the same thing I’m doing now. Sleep in and play video games everyday, go to work as usual, get drunk on the weekends, ignore my parents phone calls, avoid family gatherings, hold grudges against those who did me wrong, fight with the people that disrespect or offend me (or those who we love the most), hang out with people that I know are bad news and don’t really care about me, keep dating someone that I see no future with (or that abuses, disrespects, or belittles me), worry about what outfit I will wear or how my hair looks or how I’m gonna ever meet the right person.” I would venture to say that this kind of news would force the instinctively important things to rise to the surface, and priorities would seem crystal clear. I really wish it didn’t take this. I wish it didn’t take facing death to set us free.

I’ve learned through the years that I am a very empathetic person. When I know someone’s heart is breaking my heart begins to break with them, regardless of how close or far I am from sharing a personal bond. Pain knows no boundaries and neither does love. That is why strangers connect during tragic moments. It is the only time that transparent, unbearable brokenness of spirit is at it’s most desperate. Desperate for physical touch, spiritual strength, and emotional intimacy.

Facing death brings us together, reveals counterfeit priorities, and releases us to live as we were intended to live in the first place. But as seen in so many world tragedies such as Vietnam and 9/11; this unity, love and freedom always seems to fade and be forgotten after time… only to be again replaced with selfish goals, unnecessary worries and petty strife among people.

Why do we get so caught up in busy-ness? Why do we worry about getting older? Why do we worry about dating? Why do we worry about becoming successful? What car we drive? What house we live in? How we look? What will it take to get us to wake up early? Enjoy the day? Stop complaining about our lives? Arguing with our families? Worrying about how we look in a bathing suit? Though there are many thoughts and goals that are simply healthy motivations to become better, how much importance are we putting on those things? Are we putting them above family? Friends? Helping others that need us? Spending time with God?

Freedom is defined as many things; my favorite being the “exemption from external control, interference or regulation.” The emphasis here being “exempted from control.” So I ask; what controls you? What master do you serve? Your job? Money? The desire for love? Success? Wealth overall? Or maybe juggling serving roles at your local church. What things have taken your time away from your children? Your parents? Your siblings? Your God? What if your life did not turn out like the picture you have painted in your head? What if your life were to have a clear ending? Would you make different choices? Eliminate some unnecessary responsibilities, worries, goals?

I hope you all rest in knowing that the reason I thought of this tonight isn’t because I am personally facing death, but I have recently been surrounded by death of friends and family, and am feeling the emotional shrapnel of it’s reality. And as an added bonus, I have experienced in this collage of emotions a deeper revelation; a beautiful parallel between physical and spiritual death and freedom.

Just as facing physical death always inspires us to find our physical freedom, the death of our old life, our old ways, our ‘worldly flesh’ instantly introduces us to a free life that lasts forever… even through physical death. I could get really spiritual and insert a plethora of bible verses here, but that could take up another book. My message tonight is simple, unorganized, difficult to implement, and very delicate for the human heart to process.

I apologize that my posts are always so long. My stream of consciousness writing could really last forever. But I must stop at some point knowing that these thoughts are for me and that it is silly to think people actually read through the randomness that never stops. Tonight I write without editing. I write without worrying how this will ‘sound’ or how it will ‘flow’… my grammar and sentence structure are no longer my concern. My heart right now is focused on my life. How will I live it? What if I die tomorrow? What if one day I am presented with the estimated date of my death from this world. Would I still sleep in? Would I still worry about a job? Would I worry about cute outfits or rock hard abs? Would I visit my parents more, not worrying about the cost of gas, and choose phone calls over texts when thinking of my friends? Will I take the extra time to get to know those around me, what their needs are, what they struggle with, and how I can help in the time I have left? My life, I’ve recently decided, is not about me. My life is about how I use it to the best of my ability to help, support, encourage, and empower those lives around me. My true home is in heaven where I will be eternally at peace and overflowing with love. I was not made for here, but while I’m here, I want to reflect as much of that peace and love that represents the place I’m from… so that as many people in this world around me that cares to share this short time with me, can experience a taste of heaven, and choose to come with me into the eternal freedom that is promised as royal heirs to the Kingdom of God.

So I end here saying this: Whether we know our date of death or not, we are all heading in the same direction. None of us has a free pass to eternal youth and life in this world. Who would even want one? This is a fallen, sinful, painful world messed up in so many ways on so many levels… so how will you live it? How will you make it better? How will you leave a legacy? Don’t wait until death is near for you to find your freedom. We are free to live and love and grow just as we did when we were kids. We were given this world and everything in it to enjoy, reproduce, and protect. That means we are all in this together too… not just for ourselves, but yes, as our brother’s keeper. It is only when we realize that it is in ‘keeping our brothers and sisters’ that we find the healing, peace, love and freedom that we long for… that begins to manifest the gifts of heaven on this earth, for us to nurture and share with one another.

*P.S. Please pray for my brother. Not only for him, but all of those who we know that live a life that is limited by their own captivity… not simply in their disbelief in Jesus Christ, but the nearsightedness of their daily lives. Those who can’t see past themselves will never reach satisfaction; will never achieve peace; will never know true love at it’s most vulnerable, sacrificial, and humble state. Father help us all to live intentionally, with purpose, in service to others, and for eternal freedom. Amen*