“…Now this mountain I must climb
Feels like a world upon my shoulders
I through the clouds I see love shine
It keeps me warm as life grows colder

In my life theres been heartache and pain
I dont know if I can face it again
Cant stop now, I’ve traveled so far
To change this lonely life

I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me

Im gonna take a little time
A little time to look around me
Ive got nowhere left to hide
It looks like love has finally found me…”

As if I didn’t experience God in so many random ways enough, this 80’s power ballad from Foreigner kept popping in my head as I spent some time alone in worship tonight. Through my pure and passionate desire to feel Him and hear His voice, I realized something very obvious… I have no idea what love truly feels like. I mean, I have an idea… but I know that there is something missing. There has always been something missing.

All my life, I have given what I know of love and, joyfully received what others have known of love. In every encounter, every relationship, every heartache… there is a soul desire for this thing called love. In 1 Corinthians 13 Paul tells us everything we need to know about love and how to recognize it. In 1 John 4:18 (NIV) we also learn that “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out all fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” Yet tonight, in the solitude and intimacy with God, I realized that I am not yet made perfect in love. I realized that if I really, truly could feel Him loving me, there is no way I could ever settle for anything less from anyone else. There is no way that I would ever stay with someone when I doubt their love for me or question their faithfulness. There is no way I would ever fear anything!

My heart, for many years, has been lost and confused… irresponsibly giving and taking the world’s definition of love and placing it as the banner above my life. Situations where pieces of me have been exchanged for temporary fulfillment only angered me when I couldn’t control the outcome. And though I understand the idea and teachings of ‘love,’ it is until now that I realize that without being able to completely feel God’s love for me, I will be unable to recognize or feel true love from others… the kind that actually does endure all things!

So what can I tell you about love? Well, God’s love is pure, untainted by manipulation and lust. His love is freedom and security regardless of the whirlwind of life around you. His love is…. well this is what He says to me,

“Child of my heart, my love for you is nothing you can ever truly comprehend. If you did, you could never look at, or relate to another, less than me. But in this moment in time, I need you to build relationships with others. I know that you need me… I know that you desire to love me with everything you are… and I know that you pray for me to reveal my love for you everyday. But you need to trust more and try less. You need to allow yourself to surrender to me and not get distracted with the thoughts that the enemy will use to distract you as you worship, or the mental list of things you need to remember to do tomorrow. Let go of the fear of loneliness because I am here! I am HERE with you. I cry with you. I sing with you. I smile when you talk to me. My love, to really feel me and know what love is, you must believe that I am right in front of you. You must worship me and talk to me as if I am there sitting on your bed (or wherever you are) with you…. because I am! Just because you don’t see me doesn’t mean I can’t see you.. or feel you… or love you just as deeply and closely as if you knew that I were. Imagine me here… because I am. Speak your heart, cry your tears, share your joy, give your thanks. I am here! Talk to me about how the world has disappointed you and I will tell you about how the world has disappointed Me! I will put things into perspective for you. YOUR pain I can take away… it is the pain of the world that denies me that I cannot remove. I can only bless those who trust and believe, otherwise what is faith for? What did I die for? My good and faithful child, I am here to tell you that in Me you can rest. In Me you can trust. I am not the man that has hurt you, I am not the father that abandoned you. I am not the friend that used you or the lover that left you. I am ALWAYS here. I am everything you have ever wanted and more. I am all that you can imagine of love multiplied many times over. I love with you, I laugh with you, I listen to you and understand you. I made you! I created you just as you are for a reason. So just let go and let me show you what love is suppose to feel like!”

So, Father, what do I do with the desires I have to find love… the lasting kind? Where do I put those feelings? “My child, I will protect and fill your heart, if you let me, with everything that you desire… My love is more than enough to fill more lifetimes than you can imagine… and when I know the time is right, and both of you are ready to represent my gift of human ‘love’ to the world, I will make it happen without your help! You will be my proof that true love is real, and patient, and all that Paul said. You will be one of the few that have waited and trusted enough for me to make it happen for you. The more you try to control and manipulate, the farther you are from love and trust. It is when you truly understand what love is, that you will find it.”

An incomplete man will spend his life trying to find the missing pieces before he will find the time or ability to be everything he was made to be for his woman. An unfulfilled woman will spend all of her life seeking her completion within another man. But the truth is, we must all find completion with God before we are able to combine together to reflect His image. You see, being complete in God means understanding and receiving perfect love. It is until we know what perfect love is that we are able to give it to another with no boundaries, no conditions, and no fear. When the two made perfect in love (in God) combine together, nothing can separate them because they have been bonded by the will of God… and the ultimate desire of every one of us will be fulfilled… to be a true and complete reflection of what is God, what is absolute happiness, unending peace, and true, eternal love.